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helen99

[ website | Temporal Vertigo ]
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[Feb. 19th, 2009|11:25 am]
I knew my mom for 56 years. That's a very long time to know someone. I would have liked to spend the last years caring for her and reading her stories and taking her to the garden to get some sunshine. We would have enjoyed it, she and I, and then we would have gotten so annoyed with each other that we wouldn't have minded it when it was Time. We would have both said, "Fare thee well with blessings many, until we meet again." The abruptness severed something that was still strong, something that was expecting continuance for another several years. That frayed end is still frayed. Possibly always will be.

If there is a purpose to becoming ancient, it is to annoy the heck out of your relatives to the point where they can say "I totally loved him, he was a great person, he had a long, eventful, crazy life, but it sure was time for him to go". We did that with dad and it was hard, but not devastating.

For that reason, I do not wish to go suddenly, or to die young of some illness. I wish to live to a ridiculously old age (but still be able to think and walk) and become an entirely annoying old witch (but not a harmful one) so people will remember me fondly but not be overly sad to see me go. Ok, maybe I want them to be a little bit sad (I don't want to be someone *I* can't stand to be with). But not so sad that their lives become totally derailed. I am thinking that this isn't a hell of a lot to ask.
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Alien and Sedition Acts: The Rerun [Jan. 21st, 2009|01:44 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood |nervous]

I was browsing around and ran across the following excerpt from Wikipedia:

"Alien and Sedition Acts

The Alien and Sedition Acts were four bills passed in 1798 by the Federalists in the United States Congress—who were waging an undeclared naval war with France, later known as the Quasi-War—and signed into law by President John Adams. Proponents claimed the acts were designed to protect the United States from alien citizens of enemy powers and to stop seditious attacks from weakening the government. The Democratic-Republicans, like later historians, attacked them as being both unconstitutional and designed to stifle criticism of the administration, and as infringing on the right of the states to act in these areas. They became a major political issue in the elections of 1798 and 1800. One act — the Alien Enemies Act — is still in force in 2009, and has frequently been enforced in wartime. The others expired or were repealed by 1802. Thomas Jefferson held them all to be unconstitutional and void, then pardoned and ordered the release of all who had been convicted of violating them."

In 1798, there were the Federalists and the Democratic-Republicans.

How things change with time, yet how they stay the same. I hope Obama will repeal the "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism" act of 2001 (Public Law Pub.L. 107-56).

I won't use the acronym because it's neither in the spirit of this country nor is it patriotic, much of it being in violation of the constitution.
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Level of incompetence [Jan. 14th, 2009|11:23 pm]
[Tags|, , , , , ]
[Current Location |Rosebud]
[mood |unskilled]
[music |Inhouse]

I recently experienced a degree of frustration with my level of competence. At such and such stage of my life, I feel I should have some kind of useful skill (besides writing and computer related things). Unfortunately, so far I've not achieved any particular competence in a physical skill. I'm still muddling about with learning, as if I was 10 years old and had the next 70 years to play with. I'm not and I don't.

Right now, the frustration lies in the fact that I want to make some curtain rods and rod holders to match the ones that are already at the house. [info]rialian's mom is buying us some curtains for all the many glass doors of the house (two sets of double doors and three single doors). When they arrive I want to have something to hang them on. The previous owner was a master woodworker who was able to do wonderful things with wood. He made a curtain rod and holders... for one door only. I want to match it.

So far my attempts at doing anything (for example the brickwork around the wood stove and the back heat shield paint job) have looked amateurish. Whereas most people have at least some skills and can make things look pretty good, All my attempts at decorating anything have fallen short of my standards. I don't know what to do about this. Then several of my friends made some suggestions.

The main gist of it was to communicate with the house spirits:

"Perhaps there is a way to communicate with the entities in question, especially if they actually consider the place to be their home? Introduce yourselves and see what happens :) The place does indeed seem magical, just from the few pictures I've seen and your descriptions... maybe the fae/brownies can give you thoughts on how to caretake it. I have a feeling it may be intent and the energy behind that intent that they look for... the skill part comes in time."

The skill part comes in time.
The skill part comes in time.
The skill part comes in time.

I have to remind myself of that. It will come. I have to practice.
Here's hoping I have some extra time (like, maybe I get to live to 100 instead of 80 like most people), because the desire to be competent in these sorts of things has struck much later than I wish it had.
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Math/astronomy problem... [Jan. 14th, 2009|05:08 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |Work, leaving]
[mood |weird]
[music |notes in my head help me concentrate]

Mercury's apparent retrograde motion lasts 2-3 weeks. Venus retrograde lasts one month or thereabouts. Mars retrograde lasts for about 3 months. These time differences are to be expected given the distances and positions with respect to the sun and earth. But look at all the other planets. Jupiter's, Saturn's, Uranus's, Neptune's and Pluto's all last around 5 months. I'm sure there's a mathematical explanation for why the apparent backwards orbit of the outer planets are the same length no matter how far away they are, but I'm not sure what it is.

Edit: Clearly I can't count. Jupiter's is four months. Saturn's is 4.5. Uranus's is 5.0. Neptune's is 5.0. Pluto's is 5.5. Still, the outer planets are puzzling, since they are at vastly different distances. Maybe their actual orbital speeds are different, but I'm not sure that accounts for it.

Here's the schedule:

Date	        Planetary station	 Exact degree

Dec 31, 2008	Saturn turns retrograde	 21Vir46
Jan 11, 2009	Mercury turns retrograde 07Aqu45
Feb 1, 2009	Mercury turns direct	 21Cap44
Mar 6, 2009	Venus turns retrograde	 15Ari27
Apr 4, 2009	Pluto turns retrograde	 03Cap18
Apr 17, 2009	Venus turns direct	 29Pis11
May 7, 2009	Mercury turns retrograde 01Gem44
May 17, 2009	Saturn turns direct	 14Vir54
May 29, 2009	Neptune turns retrograde 26Aqu28
May 30, 2009	Mercury turns direct	 22Tau52
Jun 15, 2009	Jupiter turns retrograde 27Aqu01
Jul 1, 2009	Uranus turns retrograde	 26Pis37
Sep 7, 2009	Mercury turns retrograde 06Lib13
Sep 11, 2009	Pluto turns direct	 00Cap39
Sep 29, 2009	Mercury turns direct	 21Vir36
Oct 13, 2009	Jupiter turns direct	 17Aqu09
Nov 4, 2009	Neptune turns direct	 23Aqu41
Dec 1, 2009	Uranus turns direct	 22Pis42
Dec 20, 2009	Mars turns retrograde	 19Leo41
Dec 26, 2009	Mercury turns retrograde 21Cap47
Jan 13, 2010	Saturn turns retrograde	 04Lib39
Jan 15, 2010	Mercury turns direct	 05Cap33
Mar 10, 2010	Mars turns direct	 00Leo17
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Stone Ground Chocolate [Jan. 13th, 2009|11:22 am]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |chocolate]
[mood |chocolate]
[music |chocolate]

60%, 70%, 80%....
http://www.tazachocolate.com/index.php
http://www.tazachocolate.com/thegoods.php
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Glass fairies [Jan. 12th, 2009|01:09 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |North and East of home]
[mood |weird]

Recently several breakable objects have appeared to spontaneously leap out of our hands or off their shelves and make a break for freedom, only to plummet to their untimely ends upon impact with the inevitable Surface. The latest of these was the lid to a glass pan, which ordinarily is tough enough to withstand a large impact. It leaped out of the cabinet as Rialian was getting a pan, and it hit the edge of the counter at just the right angle to shatter into more tiny pieces than one would think possible for a chunky glass lid. This happened while I was doing something on the opposite side of the kitchen with my back turned (fortunately). The crash sounded like an entire cabinet full of crystal glasses expiring - it was impressive. Rialian swept it up while I stood rooted to the spot (no shoes on, so couldn't help). Of possible importance is the fact that the pan was going to be used to make hot chocolate. A few weeks before this, we made some hot chocolate. Rialian's favorite hot chocolate mug was a large handmade one (Dancing Pig Pottery) with a spiral design. This design has been discontinued. He picked up the mug full of hot chocolate to drink it, and the cup leaped out of his hand. There was hot chocolate everywhere (I think I just found the last of it this weekend, actually). I tried to glue the cup back together but was not successful. These were just the two most dramatic cases (involving hot chocoloate), but they're not the only ones...

Recently I've been noticing tiny chips in many favorite ceramic items. A pretty ceramic faerie that someone gave me broke before I got her home. A wonderful soup dish we got at a ceramic shop has a chip at the rim. Another soup dish broke in transit. A wine glass shattered during a weekend when we had friends over. And then there was the case of the heavy-duty glass pan that broke when a spice jar leaped out of a cabinet (I was several yards away) and fell on the pan at just the right angle to shatter it. The spice jar was unharmed (never mind that the pan's glass was twice as strong as the spice jar's). This all happened in the last several months.

So... Maybe an altar to the glass fairies would make this better? I have plenty of broken ceramic and glass to put on it. Maybe a windchime or two to simulate tinkling glass, in case the sound is what they're after...
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[Jan. 10th, 2009|11:33 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Under a singing moon]
[mood |sabertooth]
[music |Amora]

I've found that I'm so concerned with looking cool (ha, as if I ever actually could) that I've never actually cut loose and talked about stuff that mattered to me. So much so that "what matters" has become obscured in a kind of haze of normalcy. Considering normalcy as a haze is actually at the core of it. Normalcy is something that one aspires to to please the herd. The herd must be pleased, after all, because if not, sabertooth tigers will get us. One must not present as sick and weak or one is food for the lioness behind the tree.

The herd police are really good about making the herd do what it's supposed to, through the use of tools like ridicule and poking (both very prevalent in most simian tribes).

Normalcy is something to be resisted intelligently. Why? Because it is borne of the confines of the 3-D world, which are mutable if you believe any of the spiritual teachings of most paths, all of which more or less say that there's "more to it than that", so to speak. If there's more to it than that, then perhaps there's a place where sabertooth tigers either don't exist, or they aren't as dangerous as they once were because we're no longer acting or smelling like prey.

Not acting or smelling like prey. Now there is a concept...
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Reanimation [Jan. 10th, 2009|06:11 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |Mithlond]
[mood |geeky]
[music |Qntal, Silver Swan]

So, where to find magic in the everyday world. Maybe in the corners of musty antique shops, or in tiny, out-of-the-way thrift stores. There, I may find something that only masquerades as an inanimate object, but in fact has acquired sentience over the years. I guess the caveat is to avoid picking up something malevolent. So far so good...

A few weeks ago I found an old railway lantern at one such shop. Its paint had deteriorated to the point where its metal surface was clearly visible between patches of chipped green paint. I took it home and put it in a corner where it was mostly forgotten. Then today I figured I'd commence Reanimation...

First I removed the chips of green using a paint stripper. Under the paint was a brass top and what appeared to be a tin body. Right now it's still waiting for the last of the green paint to dissolve. Once it's free of paint I'll leave the brass part unpainted and polish it with brass polish. The tin part will be painted black. The glass front of the lantern is a deep blue color. It will be nice to see it lit when it's done. A 7-day candle in glass would probably fit perfectly.

I believe it is looking forward to being lit again, once it recovers from the Reanimation...

A few days later: I painted the lantern with "Hammered Black" paint. This paint was supposed to give the surface a hammered metal effect. Once it had dried, the finish looked very durable, but I didn't like it -- the vapors had smelled awful and the result looked like shiny plastic. I had some metallic purple tempera paint available so I applied it as the second coat. So now the lantern is metallic purple. Rialian likes it. I don't know where I'm going to put this monstrosity. It's certainly reanimated. So.... how do I put it back to sleep?
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Oh noes... [Jan. 9th, 2009|11:35 am]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |ionosphere]
[mood |bored]
[music |clack]

Girl Genius meets Cinderella...

This is the first strip in the "Cinderella" series. Scroll to the bottom of each strip and click "next" to see subsequent strips. The artist was having root canals that week and decided using the Cinderella story would save him from having to invent a plot while taking vicodin. Instead he could be inventive have way too much fun with a pre-existing plot.

This version is much more "2009" than "once upon a time"... (er, well, sort of). I totally love her ball gown...
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Magical Education [Jan. 8th, 2009|06:07 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Getting ready to go home]
[mood |good]
[music |Some idiot squeaking his shoes in the hall]

A Magical Education by John Michael Greer.

It's a rather long article, but it was interesting to find out that I already have all the knowledge he recommends to support a magical education. All the tools are in place. All that has to happen is the daily practice part. That's the killer. Having a guitar in your house does not make you into a musician... Here's an excerpt:

"A lot of people who want to study and practice magic these days come out of countercultures that rebel against our society's rigid timetables and routines, and the thought of buckling down to half an hour of magical practice a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, sounds way too much like the sort of class schedule or work schedule most of us would like to see Cthulhu rise from the deeps and drag away in his tentacles forever. So would-be mages often try to avoid regular practice. They try to be spontaneous, to do magic when the spirit moves them. It's a great idea, in theory. The only problem is that I've yet to meet a really competent magician who trained that way."
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[Jan. 6th, 2009|11:07 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |Somewhere west of center]
[mood |grumpy]
[music |Sons of Somerled]

The recent flap on LJ concerning the layoffs of a percentage of the tech staff caused me to use LJ_Archive to archive our journals. LJ_Archive is a nice little program. What it does is create a viewable archive of the journal with a chronological listing of entries. Clicking on one of the entries from the list will display the entry along with its associated comments. To run LJ_Archive, I had to download .net framework (which was no problem at all).

The result was two archives, one for my LJ and one for his. Because the format made it so easy to do that, I perused both for a while in a nostalgic meander backwards in time. I would have liked to see us both post more about our magical paths - but the profound magnitude of problems occurring over the past decade, including both political and interpersonal problems, overshadowed that and caused us to post about those instead. There were some posts about elven perspectives, but mostly I saw cries of outrage concerning hypocrisy among peers or Machiavellian maneuvers among politicians. I'm hoping we can (while remaining vigilant) refocus on things magical/elfy now. I seriously need to recharge. If a touch of Bedlam allows me to do that, then a touch of Bedlam it shall be...

The theme of this journal is "Galaxy Song" which takes it far, far outside the sphere of earth's problems. Let us hope that the stars remain forever visible and forever out of the reach of the hungry...
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Let's change the prime directive [Jan. 6th, 2009|10:55 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |nerdy]
[music |Sons of Somerled]

I've noticed that an organism who is past reproductive age usually begins the process of deterioration and death. The fact that this organism may yet have something to contribute does not seem to matter. All that matters is the fact that it is consuming resources that could be used by a breeder. Said breeder is more important for the continuation of the species.

I'd like to see this work differently. A species could live on if it didn't reproduce that often, so long as it was physically long-lived. Someone has to convince nature that it doesn't have to operate on the principle of planned obsolescence. To hell with spiritual immortality. I want the choice of extreme longevity here on earth, not some ephemeral promise geared to keep people obedient to some implicate order that exists by agreement only. I think people would be a lot more careful how they walked the earth if they knew they had to walk it for the next 1000 years or so, not to mention the fact that they might actually accomplish something of value once they got tired of their infantile squabbles.

This is not to say that I would choose to stick around forever - but I would like to have that choice.
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Good morning world... [Jan. 6th, 2009|01:59 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Work]
[mood |dorky]
[music |S00j]

And so this journal opens its eyes for the first time.


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